Every one of my clients who has been in a toxic work environment stayed put for way longer than they should have.
Sometimes it was a micromanaging boss, who questioned every move they made, undermined every decision they took, and took credit for their hard work.
Sometimes it was difficult colleagues, who made micro-aggressive comments, took credit for their ideas as their own, and made them feel like they were not one of them.
And other times, it was a toxic culture, where working 16-hour days was a norm, politics was rewarded instead of merit, and the invisible glass ceiling was not so invisible.
But in all of this, one thing is for sure. The more you stay in such a toxic environment, the easier it is to undervalue yourself.
Because you are willing to do anything to change your situation.
Take Tara (pseudonym used), one of my clients for example. She has 20+ years of experience in a highly technical field. She is a rock star. Always, overdelivering and overperforming.
But she was stuck in a racist and sexist job. A job where her boss regularly undermined her despite the long and hard days she was putting in. A job that ate away at her sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and pushed her deeper into imposter syndrome.
So, when she got an external offer that paid 20% below her current salary, she was willing to take it. Anything to escape the daily emotional and mental grind. That is where we worked together to make sure she did not let her toxic situation let her play small and drive the negotiation conversation.
Not only did she negotiate a $17k salary increase, they made her a revised offer above their posted maximum pay range. Finally, an organization that saw her value and paid her worth! And, all because she partnered with someone who had her back without being emotionally invested in her negative situation.
If you ever find yourself caught up in such a toxic work environment, remember, you can always change your situation.
You always have a choice.
