May 27 / Richa Bansal

7 Lessons My Son Taught Me As He Turned 7

The past 4 weeks have been super exciting! We just closed the launch of OWN YOUR CAREER, my lifetime access career program, and 9 amazing women have decided to take action, quit limiting beliefs for good, and claim the career and compensation they deserve!

On another note, my older son turned 7 last week. My kids’ birthdays are always a day for reflection for me. After all, motherhood is one of the hardest things I have done, and it has taught me many lessons that have shaped how I view my purpose and my life.

Here are 7 life lessons my kids have taught me in the past 7 years!

1. Never say no to help.

I had my first kid when I was working full-time and also doing my MBA full-time on the weekends. Needless to say, it couldn’t have been possible without a ton of help from an equal partner at home, parents and in-laws who flew from India to care for my kid while I was in school, my friends who shared tips from how to buckle the car seat right to how to avoid putting the diaper upside down, daycares I could trust my kid with, an older couple who cooked for us on the weekend, my cleaning lady who I could trust to come every week, my gardener, and everyone else in between.

It was in his first year of life that I truly embraced the mantra, never say no to help. There is no shame in asking for help, and there are no prizes for doing it all yourself.

2. Make kids fit your lifestyle, not the other way around.

Traveling is my lifeline. When I travel, I am a happy person. My son took his first flight at 5 weeks, and before he turned one, he had already been on 12+ trips. By the time he was two, we had taken over 20 trips to see new places, visit friends in different states, and go back to India.

My kids fit my lifestyle, not the other way around. That means they are flexible to eat and sleep outside of their schedule and outside of their bedroom whenever needed. To make this work, I must leave the guilt behind - sometimes, the kids are cranky, and sometimes they eat more sugar than I like. But this philosophy allows me to do things that I enjoy and never feel resentful about cutting back my life because of motherhood.

Happy mom... happy family!

3. Cherish the small moments.

When the pandemic hit, we were all thrown into spending 24 hours a day together. With two worried parents with lost jobs and 2 kids under 3, most days were nothing short of absolute chaos. To release pent-up energy, every day, I took my little ones to the lake nearly, and one day, we met a beautiful turtle along the roadside. As we all bent down to marvel at the beauty, I realized that we must cherish the small moments. And no matter how hard life gets, if we can find atleast one small moment of joy every day, we’ll be ok.

4. Be open to possibilities

It fascinates me every time my kids go to a new school, or a summer camp or even meet a new group of kids at the playground. Everyone is a “friend” from the first day. Kids don’t carry judgment, either for themselves or the other person. If they want to play with another kid, they simply ask.

As an adult in my mid 30’s, I had a hard time finding new friends in a new town. There were multiple criteria I was trying to fit my friends into - they should match my values, they should have kids, they should live a certain distance away, they should be a certain age, and many more instead all I needed to do was to simply be open to possibilities. It’s a lesson that will always serve me well.

5. Falling is not the same as failing.

One of the biggest struggles of adulthood is the fear of failure. My kid fell down the cycle and scraped himself but came back to ride again the next day. He fell down the monkey bars and broke his arm but came back on the swings as soon as the fracture healed. He couldn’t solve the math problem and got frustrated, but came back to solve it after a break.

Kids don’t equate falling to failure. But as adults, we forget that. That one failure crushes our self-confidence so much that we start believing that simply because we failed at something, it means we are a failure. My kids are a constant reminder that failing is not equal to failure. It just means that we need to pick ourselves up, dust up, revise our plan, and try again.

6. I am a role model.

Growing up, I only ever aspired to be in one of two professions - medicine or engineering. I come from a family of professors, doctors, and engineers, so there was only one definition of success that I learned - study hard, get a job, and work your way up to a successful corporate career.

When I started Pinkcareers, that changed. And this has become one of the biggest joys of starting my own business - I get to inspire my kids about alternate careers. They get to see that they can become a scientist, but they can also become an entrepreneur. The ideas have started flowing already - Christmas ornaments, Valentine's Day cards, and hand-painted artwork. As parents, and especially as moms, I think it is our responsibility to be role models for our kids, whether it is in showing them lifestyle choices, equal parenting or alternate careers.

7. Days are long, but life is short.

The day my son turned 7, I woke up wondering how it was even possible. It felt like only yesterday, he was my tiny munchkin, cradling in my arms, I being the center of his world. Now he is not afraid to sleep in his own room, looks forward to playdates without Mom, and has already started avoiding the kisses at the bus stop.

It was a reminder to reflect on what really is the purpose of life and to bring back the locus of focus internally. To reflect on whether we are prioritizing what’s meaningful to us or are we wasting away in comparison and fear of falling behind. Because days may be long, but life is too short to chase someone else’s definition of success.
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