Perfectionists think that everyone in the world is out there to judge them if they make a mistake or deliver something that’s less than 100%. Shift the focus away from you to the big picture. Instead of worrying about what others will think of you, and believe me, they are not constantly thinking of you as they have a life too, think about how much you can grow and learn if you just start and continue to show up.
In this interview Richa Bansal shares her thoughts on “how to overcome the hesitation caused by perfectionism" and "how to get past your perfectionism and ‘Just Do It’".
A perfectionist is someone who wants everything to be done right, the first time, every time. To a perfectionist, the definition of ‘right’ is that it is done so well that there is no room for improvement. Therefore, they set extremely high goals for themselves and equate their self-worth with delivering 100% on those goals. Anything less than that is just not acceptable, and they view it as a failure.
Being a perfectionist is not entirely bad. In fact, perfectionism and attention to detail reflect thoughtfulness and care. Some roles also require you to be a perfectionist where small mistakes can be hugely costly or fatal, such as roles in medicine, finance, construction, or operation of critical equipment.
Negative aspects:
Excessive
perfectionism leads to procrastination, lost opportunities, self-criticism, and
chronic stress. Let me expand on these a bit more:
When
you are on the never-ending quest to make something perfect, you delay moving
past the starting line. Perfectionism becomes an excuse for procrastination.
And going back to Woody Allen’s quote, we cannot move towards success if we do
not start. I once gave a talk to other aspiring female entrepreneurs, many of
whom were stuck creating the perfect business plan before they launch their
business. I believe there is no perfect plan. You just need to start somewhere
and course-correct as you gain experience.
In the early days of my
business, I spend countless hours tweaking the words on my website, choosing
the perfect pictures for my sales presentation, and prettying up my marketing
brochure, only to realize that it all needed to be changed as I received
feedback on our services and products. It came with an opportunity cost — it
took away time from business development. It is important to realize that we
have only 24 hours in a day, and hence, everything we do has an opportunity
cost. My suggestion is to create a ‘good enough’ draft, put it out for
feedback, and adjust as needed.- Chronic dissatisfaction & stress
Perfectionists
are often stuck in a never-ending self-deprecating loop that leaves them
feeling defeated and unhappy. Failure to meet the very high standards they set
for themselves results in negative self-talk, self-blame, and perpetual
dissatisfaction. Constantly striving for perfectionism is also linked to
long-term health problems such as depression
and anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and insomnia, to
name a few.
One of the main reasons perfectionists get stuck is the fear of failure and the criticism that ensues. They plan excessively and mull over every minute detail before getting started because they fear failure and worry incessantly about what others will think of them. So in some sense, they are using perfectionism as an excuse for their inability to deal with failure.
Many perfectionists have been Straight A’s students while growing up, always praised for winning, not for effort. These people fear judgment from their friends and family if they deliver anything less than 100%, and hence are often hesitant to try anything new or difficult for fear of being judged if they fail. Their need for praise, love, and belonging plays a big part in why they get stuck and are unable to move forward.
Here
are the five things a perfectionist needs to know to get past their
perfectionism and “just do it!”
1. Shift your focus to the big picture:
Perfectionists
think that everyone in the world is out there to judge them if they make a
mistake or deliver something that’s less than 100%. Shift the focus away from
you to the big picture. Instead of worrying about what others will think of
you, and believe me, they are not constantly thinking of you as they have a
life too, think about how much you can grow and learn if you just start and continue
to show up.
2. Develop coping mechanisms:
Start
putting some coping mechanisms in place that help you bounce up from small
failures — talking to a trusted friend, seeking out early-career stories of
people who you now consider successful, repeating positive affirmations like “I
am good enough,” and thinking “what’s the worst that can happen?” are some of
the ways that can help you develop self-confidence, lose the fear of failure,
and get started.
3. Set a deadline:
Set a deadline for
yourself to start the project and work backward from there. What are the
milestones you need to achieve or tasks you must complete before the deadline?
Set firm dates and give yourself limited time to complete those tasks so you
don’t spend unnecessary time perfecting every detail.
4. Get an accountability partner:
The
American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) did a study on
accountability and found that you have a 65% chance of completing a goal if you
commit to someone. And if you have a specific accountability appointment with a
person you’ve committed to, you will increase your chance of success by up to
95%.” So team up with a friend or mentor so you have access to accountability,
advice, and tough love as you start moving towards your goals.
5. Do A/B Testing:
Test your hypothesis on
whether an imperfect deliverable is acceptable or not. Next time you are trying
to cook that perfect meal, write that perfect report, or prepare a perfect
Instagram post, make some deliberate, inconsequential errors and get feedback.
You will realize that most often than not, others will not notice the
difference, and all the extra hours you spent delivering the perfect product
were unnecessary.
Which tip will you implement to get past your own perfectionism?
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